Drag Race Episode 7
Ruba walks up to the screen, red lipstick on, wearing fishnet stockings and lingerie and smoking a cigar. She stubs the cigar on the screen, kissing the ashy stub as she whispers "Welcome to Drag Race. The Winner will recieve a headline spot on the Glee Wiki® Pride Tour, a sickening supply of makeup from the Ana Mijatovic collection, and 100,000 puffle points‏. Gentlemen, Start you engines, and may the best woman, WIN!" The queens enter the workroom, confused as fuck as to why Cher was eliminated. Clara begins to cry "I MISS OUT PINK LADY". Lady Ratchet pats her back; "It's okay, she's in a better place xxx ):". Everyone leaves those two to be emotional as Carrie and Kalison make their way to the mirror, wiping off the lipstick. Kalison leans over and pulls a pencil out of her arsehole, and writes on the table; We gotta get rid of these bitches - A xoxo" Carrie and Kalison create a bond and decide to sabotage the other queens. They go to Bayonse and she agrees to join in with them. Meanwhile, Barbie, Clara and Lady are rubbing their vag's together as Cleopatra has a break down. "I'VE BEEN SO SHIT THE WHOLE COMPETITION I DONT WANT TO LEAVE I DONT DESERVE THIS TREATMENT." She screams across the workoom as the new rolaskatox make their way over to her to comfort her. Barbara and Kitty just roll their eyes. "SHEMAIL, CUNTIES." can be heard as the queens slither over to the screen. "You thought you saw the last of me, bitch?!" the video ends and Rubaul makes her way in, out of drag. "Well, hunties, You thought you saw the last of these bitches?" The doors open and Annie Jenner, Rhonda Loofa, Lola Luncheon, Susie Shitstreak, Lily Summers, Shangela, Lil' Poundcake, Bruce Jenner and Ginger Vitis make their way into the room. "I brought these queens back for a CONJOINED QUEENS WEEK." The queens still in the competition shit themselves. --confession-- Kalison: "Fuck." --Workroom-- "The mini-challenge this week will be whoever picks their team member with the target symbol on their back. Kalison, You choose first." Kalison rolls her eyes. "I guess I'll pick fucking Bruce Jenner." And the rest of the queens choose their team members. Teams: Kalison and Bruce Jenner Kitty Titz and Lily Summers Annie Jenner and Bayonse Rhonda Loofa and Lady Ratchet Lola Luncheon and Cleopatra De Boer Susie Shitsreak and Clara Redwing Shangela and Barbie Buckfast Ginger Vitis and Barbara Bobpin Lil' Poundcake and Carrie Magee --Confession Booth -- Barbara Bobpin: "WHY THE FUCK DID THEY TEAM ME WITH HER? WE ARE MORTAL ENEMIES!!!" Bayonse: "literally fml this fucking bitch..." Carrie: "Just.... why" --Workroom-- "The one with the target on their back... is GINGER VITIS. Congrats, Barbara Bobpin you win this mini challenge." Barbara bows down to the needy bitches. "Okay so this week you will create some couture conjoined queen costumes. GENTLEMEN START YOUR ENGINES AND MAY THE BEST WOMEN, WIN!" Shangela and Barbie get right into their costume, creating a duo-act where they are joined by the big toe. Barbie is the older, sexy sister who has kept her youth, But Shangela is an old hag and smokes and drinks alcohol all the time. Her tits sag and she still has a nineties haircut. Her wrinkles are deeper than the ocean. Barbie suggested this because she thinks she's MUCH hotter than Shangela. Lil' Poundcake suggests they do a pageant look and Carrie becomes her drag momma. Carrie thinks she's high and asks them to removes Lil' Pouncake from the premises, and she does a conjoined look using herself and a mirror. Her theme is self obessed whore and she sticks a mirror to her back, in a desperate attempt to create a conjoined illusion. Rhonda Loofa and Lady Ratchet go for some Iggy vs. Nicki realness. They conjoin by eachother's ponytails and have constant rap battles, feat. a smash hit from VIOLET. They both wear sexy latex outfits and walk down the runway, rapping and beating each other up. The judges cackle so hard their stomachs literally explode. Clara and Susie don't get along at all and they go for opposites attract, Using the exact same outfits that Phi Phi and Sharon wore for the frenemies challenge/episode, Clara being the devil and Susie being an Angel. When they walk down the runway, Clara purposefully trips up Susie, forgetting they are conjoined and falls on her face. Kitty and Lily summers go for some gemini realness, looking hot as fuck. They wear burqas and bindis, much to Hibo's detestment and Hibo slaps them silly, beating them with a 5 inch dildo. Kitty begins to cry and she has an emotional breakthrough, saying. "WHEN I WAS TWELVE A HOOKER SLAPPED ME WITH A DILDO SHE JUST USED. I WAS SCARRED FOR LIFE AND WHEN I PHONED THE POLICE I GOT THROWN IN JAIL." She begins to wail and cry for her life as Rubaul totally relates to her and gives her hug, noting how fierce they both look and how much they sl*y. Annie Jenner spends most of the challenge trying to get into Bayonse's underwear and Bayonse isn't having it, so she punches Annie and they then begin to hate eachother, when they get on the runway, conjoined at the hip, Annie rips away from Bayonse, hoping to ruin her chances in the competition. --confession-- Bayonse: "Weren't me, Carrie and Kalison supossed to get those bitches kicked out?" --runway/workroom-- Lola Luncheon and Cleopatra spends most of their time talking about Canada and how much they miss home. They do a canada themed-costume, conjoined at the vaginas. They wear the flag on their dresses, ride a moose and drink maple syrup down the runway. Hibo starts to talk about how much she hates Canada and the moose runs over her, incapacitating her. Kalison fucks Bruce Jenner for publicity and they do a Hannah/Miley act, where she is clocked for being Hannah before - and it was unsuccessful. Kalison cries and Bruce Jenner gets down their and rubs her vag all up in Rubaul's face, flicking her tongue like Miley. Lastly, Ginger and Barbara do pretty mediocre, as they hate eachother. That's all. "Okay, We have judges you on your looks and we can say that; Cleo and Lola. You're safe. Carrie, You're safe and Barbara, You're safe." The three queens go to the back of the stage as Lola and Ginger are re-elimiNATEd. "Bayonse, Clara, Kalison, Kitty, Lady and Barbie. You are the best and worst of this week. But, One queen was literally EVERYTHING, YES GAWD. Kitty Titz condragulations you are the winner of this weeks challenge." Kitty titz pisses herself and Lily is back in the competition. But, one other pair of queens slayed the scene. Lady and Rhonda, You did very well, You didn't win this weeks challenge, but Rhonda, You showed me the charisma uniqueness nerve and talent it takes for this competition. Shante you get to come back alongside Lily Summers." The queens gasp and Kalison feints. --confession booth-- Clara: "A queen who was elimiNATEd week ONE?! please..." --runway-- "So, Lily, Kitty, Rhonda, Lady and Barbie. You're all safe." Shangela leaves, as she has been eliminated. "So, Clara, Kalison and Bayonse, you queens were TERRIBLE. But Clara, you're safe. Two queens, dont fuck it up." Bayonse and Annie just kinda dance terribly and Kalison and Bruce werk it the fuck out to 'Like a Virgin'. "Kalison, Shante you STAY." Bayonse cries and leaves stage left. "if u cunt lvu urself how in the fuk you love someone else? can i get an amen?!?!?" "AMEN." Category:Drag Race